30/07/2011 was the day I preached my first sermon. And this experience was a bitter sweet one.
The process to preparing the sermon started exactly a week ago. Having spent the free time I had while I was in Australia on getting acquainted with Doug Phils’ transcript, my brother and I decided that it was quite a bad sermon. His points were vaguely explained and the examples just did not serve it’s purposes. It was simply, disappointing. Much work had to be done and we put in the effort to brainstorm together.
At the beginning, the process of writing this sermon was surprisingly, enjoyable. I enjoyed it because I enjoyed bouncing ideas off my brother. We have so much natural chemistry that our ideas could be as radical as we would want it to be and still we believe that we could implement them. We eventually came up with the main idea that we want them to DOTA with one another. For the longest time, we have (humorously, not necessarily literally) associate DOTA with fellowship. It may not be bibical, but it definitely united the brotherhood from a long time ago till now. The excitement grew as the sermon began to take shape and the points firmed up.
Did the sermon just came together by itself so easily? DEFINITELY NOT. We met obstacles on the way. The points needed to fit the acronym of DOTA and we faced SO much problems finding an A. Furthermore, the points were too close together, in the sense that if we wanted to explain the first and last point in a complete manner, they would have many application that overlaps each other. That headache affected me until it was Tuesday. I then decided to complete it once and for all and submit my transcript to the pastoral team.
I then felt free! Free like a bird! Free from the stress of having to constantly think about the sermon throughout the week.
Until I met Joey on Friday afternoon to go through the sermon..
Joey was precise in all the points that he brought up. He scrutinised my transcript from top to bottom, from phrasing to choice of words, from expository to illustration, then to application. I was sad. I was not disappointed with myself. I was actually happy that I’ve been given such good pointers to ensure that I do what would benefit the youths at G2. Excellence was what I wanted. But when I found out that I had SO much to work on, I knew that I had to panic soon.
I then head for leaders’ circle and I soon realised that the sermon was on my mind throughout the entire time. The constant thought that time was running out was stressful. But I was very thankful for my cell mates, especially Nigel, who suggested to my region to pray for me. It was very comforting to know that I’ve support from them. Caleb was another one who offered to help me with my slides. Because of them, I immediately felt.. stronger.
That night was crunch night! I had to wreck my brain to try to make all the points make sense. I was constantly reading my sermon, thinking of improvements and praying under my breath in the spirit. I was begging the Holy Spirit to give me the word. As the night approached 3am, I felt that I was about 89% completed (Don’t ask me how I got to that number) but I was still not satisfied. But I had reached a point of saturation that my mind just could not function anymore. I decided to rest and complete it the next morning. Having sent out my transcript to David and Caleb to aid me in printing it, I thought I was the only one that would be severely lacking sleep the next day. But little did I know that Caleb was also up till around that time, trying to ensure that the slides were excellent.
The next morning, I rushed down to meet Caleb to run through the slides with him. While on the bus, my mind was constantly on the sermon and I was then still seeking the Lord for the word. And then it hit me. I found the phrasing, I found the structure of my sermon and I found satisfaction. This meant that I had to re-redo my sermon structure. I spent the morning till after lunch which was around 1:30pm, touching up on my transcript. And then I realise that it was finished! A great sense of joy flooded my heart. I finally could relax on the stress I had about the content. I could now move on to the stress I had regarding the delivery.
I transferred the transcript to Caleb’s laptop and only had a good read of the entire final product near 2:30pm. I somehow had great inertia in wanting to read through my whole sermon, maybe because I knew that I would be more nervous. I decided to just spend the time seeking God and committing the service into His hands. I somehow was very relaxed about the delivery. I was in fact confident. Nevertheless my heart still pounded hard and fast as the time approached. When Joey appeared at the service hall, he took a look at my sermon and was very pleased. He began commenting on how it is excellent and straight to the point. That gave me a great sense of relief. It was a divine indication that the word was from God.
Finally I was up at the front of the hall standing behind the pulpit. I was cautious about so many things. How I was standing, how I was holding the mic, was I keeping my arms too close to my sides, was I swaying too much from side to side, did I hide behind the pulpit too much, did I attempt to use the space of the hall, and most of all, was I reading too much from my transcript? It bothered me. But somehow I was not affected. I just spoke the words and they all seem to flow out pretty nicely. At some points I had the shepherds indicating to me to slow down and I did (when I emcee, I rarely notice these kind of signals and when I do, everyone will notice it too. But this indication went so naturally for me.). I noticed that the crowd was turning dead and that a few of the youths were yawning. It bothered me. But somehow I was not affected. And as soon as it started, it was time for the alter call.
When I first opened the alter for the youths to respond, no one responded. It was quite a sad moment. It was, to me, an indication that my sermon had not convicted anyone. But after I rephrased the alter call, 2 responded. And after that, they all just kept coming. Joey took over the alter call from there and after issuing the third and fourth alter call, we had a very good crowd that responded. It brought so much joy to see the word of God really impacting their lives.
It was finally over. And the great stress that I felt, fell right of my chest. Thereafter, I had numerous youths coming to me and affirming me that my sermon was both entertaining and convicting. They really enjoyed it and felt the movement of the Holy Spirit. What surprised me the most was that they all though that I was a natural, that I did not seem frightened at all. In the words of pastor CX, I preached like a pro. WOW.
The whole process was a bitter sweet one. The bitter time came when the sermon had to be prepared. And the delivery felt sweet for it was then that I could really feel the Holy Spirit at work not just in my life but in the congregation as well. Well I could attribute this victory to my experience both as an emcee and having preached/shared at pre-teens before. I dare say that I was confident that I would have delivered it well. But I believe that that is definitely not the case. Just like how I needed God through the planning process, I needed Him as I was preaching as well. I believe that He was the one who calmed my nerves, connect the points in my head and allowed me to speak with clarity. I believe that I am merely a vessel.
This whole process reminded me of the prophecy that David’s father had for me. He shared that I will become a really good pastor in future. I have never actually taken this prophesy serious. It is not a goal for me that demands excellence in ministry nor is it a calling that I have already received. But now that my first sermon is preached, it does seem like God is preparing me for a greater purpose. Ultimately I believe that I can only get to where God wants me to be, only if I have stronger together relationships. If not for people like my brother, David Choo, Caleb Kay, Nigel and my region, Joey and the other shepherds, pastor Cuixian and all the others that have interceded and cheered me on, I believe that I would not have been that successful. It is because of them that I am stronger myself. And I thank God for each and every one of them.
To God be all glory!
