Revival service was phenomenal. The Lord truly dealt with my heart in way that was unexpected simply because Revival has never struck me like that before. I am now left broken.
Before revival service, my heart had too much discontentment in it. I asked for it – and the Lord delivered. But it was needed and i believe that the Lord placed a burden in my heart for a reason. I saw the irreverence not just in myself but all around me. It was something that troubled me greatly, yet something I could not change nor effect immediately. I just do not know how. Worship from the worship team is really really great but our congregation is flat. Their posture alone paints the picture of their heart of worship. Now that was just one thing I saw. There is definitely more things we could all work upon if we truly want to enter the presence of the Lord. But the problem did not just lie with the congregation. I was to blame as well. I was self-righteous and this became my obsession – my heart was in the wrong condition, that of not ready to enter the presence of the Lord let alone for revival. It came to a point where I knew that some would experience revival, but definitely not the whole R@ge. I became a cynic.
During revival service, the Lord showed me two things.
The first was me in a cave that had many walls. The walls were black and I tried constantly to break them down. Every time a wall fell, another emerged behind. I began to grow tired and then finally I stopped. And admired the wall.
The second was that I was in a forest filled with numerous trees. The trees were identical and they surrounded me. I was lost for direction. I then felt a mighty wind that took all the trees away. What came after was a whisper from God. I could not hear what it said though.
Let me interpret what these visions meant. The first was that I had to deal with the sin in my heart. The Lord wanted me to not be obsessed with sin or getting rid of it. Rather to be obsessed with Him. The second is that I had to get rid of the numerous distractions in my life that took me away from the Lord. I need to seek for direction again. And just like Elijah, it is not the wind that i should seek but the still small voice that came after it. I need to restart all over to learn to just hear from God.
The really broke me down that night. I pray that as I have been broken down, may God help me rebuild on solid rock once again.
I was left broken, to be restored again.
